Once upon a time progress came upon what had once been forest and farmland, and homes were built. Nice homes. Some had two stories with bedrooms and a playroom for the kids upstairs, and some were one level, with a hallways that branched bedrooms from both sides. All the homes had bathrooms with indoor plumbing, and kitchens. They had laundry rooms, as well. And then the people came. The people bought the pretty houses, and they brought with them their children and dogs and cats. The wives cooked in the kitchens and sometimes the husbands would help them out by cooking hamburgers on the weekends for the kids while the wives were out shopping. The husbands didn’t know what to do with the grease left in the pan so they just washed it down the sink. The children loved to play with the dog but sometimes the dog got muddy (as did the children) and both the children and the dog were bathed by the wives. And the mud and dirt and dog hair all went down the drain to join the grease the husbands had dropped down. The children were precious but also mischievous. They liked to see just what would and would not flush down the toilet. Pennies (the newer, light-weight ones) flushed easily. Grandpa’s old silver dollars? Not so much.
Then one day the houses weren’t so new anymore and repairmen’s trucks began to be seen more often in the neighborhood. The plumbers came more often than anyone because someone, it seemed, always needed help with their Plumbing Levittown. There were pipes to be unclogged and it seemed like the wives were in a competition to see who could get the most trendy bathroom fixtures or the latest model dishwasher. The husbands all wanted new outdoor hot water spigots so they could wash their trucks with warm water, and the children (who kept coming) kept throwing keys and cell phones and even mysterious and unknown objects down the toilet to see what would go down and what would not.
Thankfully it was never hard to find a good plumber who would come and cheerfully fix the broken pipe, retrieve the cell phone and install the fancy new water filter that was surely all the rage. The families were cared for, the plumbers were paid, and the children played happily ever after.
